Trapped

" ⁷ Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens.Don’t turn away from me, or I will die.⁸ Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you.⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me.¹⁰ Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.¹¹ For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress.¹² In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." Psalm 143:7-12

In this perfect hour I am changed. I’ll never be the same. Help me follow You and keep in time with the sound
of heaven in me. Let me see forever with eyes You’ve opened standing in Your beautiful light.
Hold me near, hold me near to You and let me see the world through Your eyes. Hide me in Your love again
let me hear the songs of Your heart. - World Through Your Eyes Reuben Morgan

God has called me to change. In a sense I can be like the "paralyzed man" in the book of John (5:1-13). In the story Jesus asked "Would you like to get well?" and in my opinion I would probably say YES please heal me. In this certain situation, the paralyzed man answered with an excuse. I think I am like this man God is asking me would you like to be healed? My reply, it's going to be too hard. I've just started and already I want to give into temptation. I'm just too scared, I'm used to talking to boys. I'm used to seeking their love and compliments. I'm used to keeping an eye out for the "good looking" guys, the males with great personalities and so forth. I'm used to heart ache it's no biggie. I've gotten through it before I can get through it again and I so easily fall into the pattern again. This is when God replies, no Rhia my child it is not hard. I who have created everything have the power to heal you. I can do all things. Now are you ready to be well? Are you ready to change? My heart cries out yes! Yes Lord, I am I want to be transformed. Becoming someone new isn't easy and change tends to be painful, but it is eventually worth it. He says you have made the decision, you are healed. SIN NO MORE. ¹⁴ But afterward Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.”- John 5:14

See I have set a goal one year for God alone. It hasn't been cake and ice cream. It's been a challenge! I have cut or I am working on cutting out past relationships that distracts me from God. At times I become depressed because something reminds me of a guy. My mind will be on empty and thoughts regarding said people decide to have a party in my head. When I talk to my guy friends I am tempted because of the words they say to once again fall. I feel like there are traps surrounding me and I'm the one setting them. There's a voice in the back of my head saying it's just a simple conversation. I know better, one will turn into two and two three until I'm again stuck and struggling to find a way out. Each time I look away from the goal for a split second I dig myself a deeper hole, I get stuck again. God replies, you have been healed, sin no more. It may be a "challenge", but Rhia I have provided you with my Holy Spirit who gives you the strength to endure. You will get through this. So I will surrender myself completely to God. I will allow his Holy Spirit to work in me and transform me from the inside out. I will read and write his word until the door of escape is provided and I will flee each time. He loves, cares, and understands who I am more than anyone else. May God have his perfect way in me.

" ¹² If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. ¹³ The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure." -1 Corinthians 10:12-13

 ^"11 For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. ¹² And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, ¹³ while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. ¹⁴ He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds." -Titus 2:11-14