Nerd

1 Samuel 16:7 

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

"I'm turning the world off. Embracing the silence.Walking away from all the voices that are screaming in my ear. I've been too caught up. I've been so stressed out. All of the noise replaced the whisper that used to be so clear. I'm letting my fears go giving You control for You are the one who holds me closer in my soul's darkest night. Everything I see is so temporary so help me to run the race before me with eternity in sight.
Now I close every door put my face back on the floor. And I'm in Your arms where I belong.There's no other place for me than right where You are. Some things just don't change when I call Your name You never hesitate to wrap me in endless grace when I'm in Your arms." In Your Arms Meredith Andrews

Big round frames covered in some floral print surrounding thick plastic that are supposed to help me see better. Marked as UGLY. I must dig deeper and when I get to the bottom I will dig deeper still there is always some treasure to be found in the deep. Today I got my new glasses, I need to adjust to the new prescription they hurt my eyes and make me dizzy. I have never experienced being high on anything except on life, but I have a strong feeling that I now know how it feels. I just have to put my new glasses on. When I showed them to certain people they laughed and asked what was I thinking?

That's a good question. What am I thinking? At times my thoughts are rather destructive. I'm not fighting a physical battle but a spiritual one. (Ephesians 6:12) My thoughts at times tell me that I am ugly and my actions cannot be forgiven. I know that these are lies. My self esteem can be really low and I can break down. Sure I am not perfect, but I am definitely forgiven. To tell myself that I am ugly would be a big fat lie because God created man in his own image; in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Therefore I am a beautiful creation called to a certain purpose, blessed with a certain gift. I have faults, but I pray that the people who are called to love me will see me with God's eyes. That even if I may mess up I am still lovable. I hope that the people in my life will be able to love me with no conditions. Most importantly I must see myself through God's eyes and love myself for my mistakes and forgive myself. Then I must love everyone else in the same way. I just hope that the more I come to God the more I will learn to love genuinely. I want to see past the shallow part of the ocean and swim deeper to find the buried treasures deep inside the people that surround me. I hope to find someone who will love me for who I am instead of how I look. I want them to search deeper. I want someone to love me even after finding out my faults. I want someone who will be kind, patient, humble, not jealous, not conceited, someone who will not give up through hard times. I want to know more about love. I want to find me. I want to know God more so that my identity will be revealed to me. I want to rely on God to find the man who will love God as much as I do, I want God to bless me with a man who looks beyond my nerdy glasses and sees my heart. As I wait I will learn true beauty and love, for now I have God he is all these things I am looking for and he will always be enough.

Song of Solomon 4:7

English Standard Version (ESV)

^7(A) You are altogether beautiful, my love;
   there is no^(B) flaw in you.