Saved from HEARTACHE

"I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me."- Proverbs 8:17

"Your will above all else, my purpose remains. The art of losing myself in bringing you praise. Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades. Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart, my soul, Lord I give you control consume me from the inside out. Lord let justice and praise become my embrace to love you from the inside out." -From the Inside Out Hillsong

On the way to fellowship I don't know what I was thinking about, but unexpectedly this thought popped into my head and kept playing again and again. I was amazed by those simple words. "I am just trying to save you from heartache." I was surrounded in awe that God loved me so much that he wanted to save me from heartache. He loved me so much that he didn't want me to experience the pain of a broken heart again. He has showed me the hard way that when I am desperate for the love of another. When I take creating a relationship into my hands. When I make a boy my "idol". When I rely on a boy for my happiness. When my focus is on him 24/7 instead of on HIM. I play with fire. I make this gap that only gets wider and wider as I fall into the pit of yet another relationship. It tastes so good while I'm in it, but the longer my eyes are set on someone else instead of God the more potent the poison is. I become unhappy when I start to see that this boy is changing. The relationship ends and it is definitely not a happily ever after. IT IS REVOLTING. Yet again I am left heartbroken, picking up the pieces and running to God in sheer desperation, so he can put the parts back together again. 

Recently I was talking to this guy, I won't reveal who it is or rather was. Anyway this guy is pretty "smart". He knows what he wants to do in his life. He loves Jesus and he is CHRISTIAN. I was starting to like him. Then I remembered my goal. I told my brain to park it. One year, from now (June) to next May just me and God. Jesus is my FOCUS not boys. I will train myself with self control and be patient. I will wait on God and his promises. He has told me he has the one for me I just have to wait on him. He tells me he will take control over my love life. His happiness is never changing so I won't have to worry about being unhappy. He fills the love void in my heart  and I am content yet not satisfied. I will keep seeking his love all of my days. I will continue to search for him. If all I want is a bike I'll settle but if I want a car I'll work hard to earn money for that car. If all I want is what I have now I don't think I will be taken to the next level. God wants me to wait he wants to save me from another heartache and I love him love him love him for giving me this chance to come closer to him. I must stress this all the more God is all I NEED. If after a year this friendship develops into something more well SCORE ;) If not I will continue to trust and live for God. He has Mr.Right and God is placing events where they need to be so when the day comes he will be lead straight to me. 

  

^{"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right." -Song of Solomon 2:7}