Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
1 O Lord, you have examined my heartand know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand! 7 I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
9 If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
It hasn't always been this way
I remember brighter days
Before the dark ones came
Stole my mind
And wrapped my souls in chains
Now I live among the dead
Fighting voices in my head
Hoping someone hears me crying in the night
And carries me away
Chorus:
Set me free of these chains holding me
Is anybody out there hearing me?
Set me free
Morning breaks another day
Finds me crying in the rain
All alone with my demons I am
Who is this man that comes my way?
The dark ones shriek
They scream His name
Is this the One they say will set the captives free?
Jesus, rescue me
Chorus
As the God man passes by
He looks straight through my eyes
The darkness cannot hide
Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains
I hold the key
All power of Heav'n and earth belong to Me
(Repeat)
You are free
You are free
You are free
-Set Me Free Casting Crowns
Today was a day where I was just spiritually attacked. Little things were getting to me. I just sank deeper and deeper. I had to leave where ever I was I didn't want to be there any longer. I couldn't I just didn't want to be anywhere. I didn't know where I wanted to go. I came to God and was just straight up honest with him. I said Lord I'm so tired of wearing this mask. I'm tired of smiling when inside my heart is crying out save me. I'm tired of looking composed. Lord I thank you because you already know whats going on. I don't have to pretend that I'm okay. I can come running to you. When I ask to talk to you Lord you never run in the opposite direction. You sit and you listen. Lord I'm afraid of hurting myself. I'm sick of these tormenting thoughts. They just keep coming at me. I don't know what to do. Lord in everything let your will be done.
Tonight as I was about to write this blog I read the name of it. Whom do I run to? I said to myself yeah Rhia who do you run to? Who am I running to? When I try to run to anyone else I am left disappointed because some people just cannot understand. Some people disappoint because when things go haywire they run to the hills. See God is completely different. When I am in trouble and I go to God he is waiting. He listens and he sends me help. When I say I love you he replies I love you Rhia and he rally means it because he is the true definition of Love.
Today I was being attacked with thoughts. I know are not mine they come from the enemy. I know that when he finds you a threat he will stop at nothing. He will keep coming at me with these lies just to see me turn away. I just won't and cannot give up. When the thoughts come just jump and drown. Just take that rope give up. You are worthless. You have no purpose. I will take every thought captive.
The question is whom do I run to? The answer has been and will always be the same. JESUS!!! I will run to him for protection. When the enemy comes at me and screams give up! I will reply no because God has created me for a purpose. He will guide me so that I may fulfill his purpose. When everything is dry in my life and I am left thirsty I have to remember something. The more I quench myself with anyone or thing but God it will be like drinking salt water. I will always be left even more thirsty than I was when I started. I have to realize that I must stop running in the wrong direction. I have to fix my feet and create a tunnel vision keeping my eyes on Jesus and everything he has for me.
Romans 8:25-39
New Living Translation (NLT)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers[a] in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[b] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.
Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love
31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. 35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[c]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[d] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
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