TIRED

Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28


Love outstanding overflows
In our hearts it ever grows
Send to live and breathe through us
flow like waters comes your love
flow like waters comes your love

Love like rain fall down
Love like arms surround
Hold the universe ablaze
Hold my heart in your embrace

Loving Father pure and bright
Wait arms open for the sight
of the wayword time come home
Celebration waits alone

And at first glimpse the Father runs
dripping tears fall on the Sun
from His knees the Father lives
to embrace and kiss His face
to embrace and kiss His face

Love like rain fall down
Love like arms surround
Hold the universe ablaze
Hold my heart in your embrace

Love Like Rain by Daniel Doss Band

Tired. I have been tired. Tired of everything. Weary because unhappiness weighs so heavily on my chest I cannot breathe in peace. I have not been satisfied. Something deep deep deep within me is disturbed and it is my fault. The good thing about this is that Jesus has called me saying that I don't have to carry this any longer that if I just give it up I can rest.

I made this one year commitment to God that I would pursue him and only him, it went well for the first couple of months. Okay it went well for the summer and then summer ended and I was back to the place I started. Trying to get back on my feet. It would be okay for a little bit and then I would fail again and again and again.

The worst part of this is that by giving into temptation and chasing after a guy instead of God I slowly felt this disconnect. I feel lost and confused most of the time. And I also feel hopeless. Maybe there is more to this then just talking to a guy. It's not just talking to a guy. It's making him the center of everything. See relationships aren't bad. People are made to be in relationships, it only get's bad when your focus in unbalanced and you leave Jesus in the back seat. I've done this for too long and I am starting to feel the effects of it. It isn't good.

I sit on my floor and I pray for revelation. He blesses me all the time and everything he leads me to tells me to lay this "addiction" down. Every bible verse every video every conversation leads me to what he's been calling me to do. I am willing but I am scared of what will happen if I let go. It can't be bad. If God calls me to something only blessings can wait at the end because he knows what is best for me. It's going to be hard, it's going to be painful, and at times I'll want to give up, but I can trust that the joy of the Lord will be my strength.

I have been like the paralyzed man at the pool. Every time Jesus asked me if I wanted to be healed I replied with an excuse. No more excuses just re-dedication and trust. With God all things are possible.

He is the God of my salvation; in him I trust and am not afraid, Yahweh is my strength: him I will praise, the one who saved me. (Isaiah12:2)

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
-Let Everything That Has Breath Matt Redman

Everything I have recently come across has been pointing me in one direction. I should leave the old behind. It is leaving me bound tightly and slightly blind. The hardest thing about getting on track is that it is painful. The good thing about this short pain is that it will produce a glory that will last forever. The better thing about this pain is that in the end it will produce something fruitful.


I did not make time to read my bible today but I felt that God spoke to me anyway. This one simple thought played gently over and over again, lay your addiction down. In the Bible he often speaks about how jealous he is. It says that you cannot serve two masters. By giving into this "addiction" I have made it like an idol. This situation is restricting me from genuine worship. How can I focus on Jesus whom I love so much when my mind is constantly focused on someone else?

Forgive my mistakes spell check is absent

³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
Luke 12:32

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know Your touch
Restores my life

So I wait for You
So I wait for You

I’m falling
I’m falling for You
Jesus You’re all
This heart is living for
Hungry- Kuttless

I don't exactly like where I am right now. I feel unsatisfied. I am scared and I am longing for more. I am longing for a freshness. I am longing for one touch. I am longing for some sort of transformation. I am tired of walking through life like everything is dark and confusing. It feels so empty and aimless sometimes. I am afraid that life has no purpose. I have no idea where I am heading.

Earlier I was praying and I felt comforted. In the silence I heard God speak. He said I will not let you go. I will never let you go. Remember that nothing at all could ever seperate you from my love. I just felt this warm embrace like wash over me. I felt at peace. He gave me Luke 12 to read. It's a really good read.

Anyway Luke 12 is all about Jesus talking to the Pharisees. He talked about how if even one lost sheep, or one lost coin, or a lost son were found how the angels would rejoice. He talked about how desperately someone would go out to look for whatever was lost because he or she loved the person or thing very much.

One of the stories tells about this son who wanted all of his inheritence.  So his dad gave it to him. The son then went out and spent all of his inheritence on parties and prostitutes. He eventually went broke and got hired to feed pigs. He was starving and realized that if he could just work for his dad at least he would have something to eat. He struggled to get home. When his dad saw him off in the distance he ran to his son. He embraced with genuine love. The son then goes dad forgive me I have sinned against heaven and you. The father was overcome with so much joy, love and compassion that his son came back that he threw him a party.

See God will allow me to make my own mistakes. He loves me enough to take me back. He rejoices when I come back to him.

In a way I was kind of like the son. I went off and did my own thing. The more I continued the more I felt unsatisfied, but I take heart in knowing that God isn't going to let me go. He still loves me and his arms are wide open to embrace me when I come running back to him.


"My soul faints with longing for your salvation, but I have put my hope in your word."
Psalm 119:81

ehh

I would like to apprise you that I can no longer wait for you. The pain of loosing you feels like the sore, aching, stinging, and throbbing pain that one might feel after getting her teeth yanked out without any form of numbing medication. I will become an annoying caterwaul for the next couple of days submerging myself in my tears and hoping that they will wash all the hurt away. Talking to you implies that I have condescended from my virtues. It's funny what love can do to a person.  I will not cozen you. I will tell you the truth, I don't want to talk to you anymore. I should have listened to the inner voice that told me to ignore you. Maybe then I wouldn't be stuck in this morass which acts like a rope cutting into the flesh. I feel like I can't escape the bondage. The more I struggle the deeper the rope digs into my skin. I am stuck and I actually like it here. I have become comfortable with my faults and I don't want to leave because deep down inside I don't ever want to leave you. Every time I try to run away I am drawn back to you like a mouse to the cheese on a mouse trap. Yet staying here causes so much melee in my life. I feel like I walk through every dark day with no purpose and it deepens my depression.My hope is as miniscule as a mustard seed and I don't know when I will become that sanguine girl again.

Aimless Walk

Jesus replied, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
John 6:35


I have a Maker
He formed my heart
Before even time began
My life was in his hands
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tommy_walker/he_knows_my_name.html ]
I have a Father
He calls me His own
He'll never leave me
No matter where I go

He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
And He hears me when I call
He knows my name- Tommy Walker

There is this thing deep inside of me that is longing for more. I'm going day by day more and more unsatisfied. Today I watched this youtube video about priorities. It drove me completely nuts by the way. It was just this cartoon doing the same thing over and over again. He would walk to the bookshelf, then to a table  behind him, kneel down next to a box, and then sit at a desk. This cycle would repeat for a good two minutes. It was absolutely redundant but it made its point. After a while you see Jesus just sitting and waiting for the dude. Angels are behind him first one tries to get his attention and then the other one goes wait let's not bother him Jesus is waiting on the dude. It made me realize the reason for this longing deep inside of me.

It makes me think really hard. When was the last time I sat down and really just spent some quality time with God. I mean good quality time with him. Time with him without any distractions. Time with him without worries. Most of the time when I am trying to spend time with him my eyes are going over words, or my ears are hearing, or my mouth is singing but my heart is in a whole different place. I think the video I watched today was God's reminder to me that I should take time to do absolutely nothing but focus on God.

I need to find his light because lately life has been an aimless walk down a dark dark dark path. I want him to shine his light on me to show others that there is hope. Anyway, God helps those who help themselves so it has to start with me making time for him. I'll see where this goes and I'll follow the one who is the source of happiness when life hits me hard with lows.

Psalm 39:7 

New Living Translation (NLT)  

7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.

 

Just One Touch

Jeremiah 2:13
"For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me--the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!

I'm so distracted by senseless passions
Tempting my wandering eyes
But ever pursuit brings me closer to the truth
That only You can satisfy
-The Way the World Turns Sanctus Real

"Jesus would rather die than live without you."

My blog is titled whom do I run to? Lately I've been running away from God and into the arms of another. When that person broke my heart I would run to another person's arms. I would keep searching for someone else to fill the void that the previous person left and yet I was always left empty. I have busied myself and made little time to spend with God. I was feeling more and more dissatisfied with life. I was stuck. I was emotionally unstable no even better I was emotionally miserable. I was left more dry, thirsting for something more. The solution was always in front of my face, but I kept allowing myself to run in the wrong direction.

I became obsessed because I allowed my noxious thoughts to rule my life. I made it easy for sadness and anger to take my life over. I became distant. I became heartbroken. I longed for something more. God had it for me, but I was too stubborn to listen. I tried to fix things on my own and in return I created an even bigger problem than before. I was spiraling into destruction. I was confused, lonely, lost, and spiritually sick, but this is the great news: it's not too late to turn back. I have made the decision to turn back and run no wait sprint into the arms of God for forgiveness, for mercy, and ultimately his love which will never leave me unsatisfied.

I have put up the white flag of surrender. I can no longer attempt to do this on my own. It is absolutely impossible to do anything apart from God. Jesus would rather die than to live without me. He died so that he may live not only with me, but within me. This is the time to allow my heart to be open to him. I will plead for one touch of healing from him and in faith know that he will. In his perfect timing he will definitely heal me.

Jesus Heals Many People

 ¹⁴ When Jesus arrived at Peter’s house, Peter’s mother-in-law was sick in bed with a high fever. ¹⁵ But when Jesus touched her hand, the fever left her. Then she got up and prepared a meal for him. ¹⁶ That evening many demon-possessed people were brought to Jesus. He cast out the evil spirits with a simple command, and he healed all the sick. ¹⁷ This fulfilled the word of the Lord through the prophet Isaiah, who said,
   “He took our sicknesses
      and removed our diseases.”^{[d]
Matthew 8:14-17}
   

Waiting

Our hearts ache, but we always have joy. We are poor but we give spiritual riches to others. We own nothing and yet we have everything.
2 Corinthians 6:10

"Lord I give you my heart. I give you my soul. I live for you alone. Every breath that I take every moment I'm awake, Lord have your way in me."

Today I woke up with this painful sadness lurking deep inside. Once again I had no real reason to feel this way. I decided early on that I was going to shake the sadness and go about my day with an anticipation that the day would be so much better.

After fourth I was just hit hard with this absolute joy. I was given so much energy. I've been lacking that lately. I felt so complete. I felt satisfied finally. I was extremely thankful because I was able to sing again. I've been sick for a while and my voice has been out of whack. I was jumping around and dancing. I had many genuine smiles on my face today. I just wanted to share my new found happiness with anyone I came across. God has really been listening to my prayers.

He filled me with his love and closed the gigantic void in my heart. After school I was waiting for my ride. Everyone left so I was alone and it was dark and gloomy. I was starting to freak out but I silenced my fears. I knew that even though all the people were gone God's presence still surrounded me. In his presence I find protection and peace.

If you feel like what you are asking for will never come just wait on the Lord and you will most definitely receive it.

Random but Lovely

Psalm 62

For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David.

 ¹ I wait quietly before God,
      for my victory comes from him.
 ² He alone is my rock and my salvation,
      my fortress where I will never be shaken

I am starting to shift from stuck to getting back where I used to be. God has answered my prayers. I know he is taking that burnt out candle and setting it ablaze again. I am slowly but surely becoming once again on fire for God. He has blessed me with so much revelation and I praise him for it.

So far this week I have realized that he is here. He is always here with me. He never never never leaves my side. Even when I am screaming for help and I find that he is silent he is still there. He listens because he loves me.

I have learned that the more I seek him the more I find him and delight in his presence. I learned that making time for him in the morning sets me up for a pretty good day.

I have messed up this week but he has helped me bounce back again.

I know he is doing something deep within me. He is setting me free from certain bondage. He is breaking all the chains. He is changing things for my benefit. All I had to do was surrender.

When I have felt down he has sent me people to cheer me up. Just earlier I was feeling discouraged until I read my friends blog. He described me as a guardian angel. As I read what he wrote I started to cry. ( And I DO not cry easily) I don't view myself that way and hardly realize the effect I have on people. His statement really humbled me and brought a huge smile to my face.

I have this lanyard that my best friend Arielle gave to me. It used to have a lot of sentimental junk on it and pins covered all the I love Jesus'. I was convicted one day to take all of that stuff off so I did. There was a purpose in doing that. Since now there is only my bottle on the lanyard people have been stopping to ask me why on earth do I carry a bottle around my neck. So I have had many opportunities to explain to them what my symbol means.

This is how it usually goes. This is not trash. This is a symbol. I attended a one week camp this summer. The theme of camp was H2O hence the water bottle. So when you come to God and accept his son as your Lord and Savior you become a new person. You empty out your old self and come to God each day so that he can fill you with the living water which is the Holy Spirit. Also our names are crossed off and Jesus name is written because when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior God no longer sees us and all of our junk but he sees his son who is pure.

Today I don't know what I was doing. I don't even know how I ended up in front of my friend. Anyway he said I already know that I am going to hell. I was shocked. I said no no no you are not! What surprised me was that on the way to school I just read Romans 10 and that chapter was all about salvation. So after I explained to him what my bottle meant I talked to him about salvation. I told him that if he believed in Jesus that all his sins from yesterday today and tomorrow are forgiven. I told him that God was a God of first second third a multitude of chances. Then I read him Romans 10. I hoped that helped.

Before I went all preacher on my friend I went to find a rock okay two rocks. In the bus before I read my bible I read this devotional about God being my rock. It instructed me to put a rock in my pocket as a reminder. So I went on a search for a rock. After I picked up both rocks I stood up and saw the looks on these people's faces. Their looks pretty much said dude this girl is a freak! I just stood there and boldly explained to them the reason I picked up the rocks. I don't know what came over me. Usually I'm afraid of being judged but at that moment I didn't care.

Call me a freak. I am one. A JESUS freak! I live for him and no ones smirks snide comments or laughter will stop me from living for him. I love him. In the end their judgement won't put a dent into anything. Their words will die away with them. The only thing that will matter is how God will judge me. What would he say if I was too scared to stand for him?

I'm glad that God is working in my life. I know that every single up and down has a purpose. I will trust him. WORD.

Oh here I'll share this poem I wrote when I was feeling really out of it earlier today. Hope you enjoy.

I sit down in a chair and I am over come with a feeling of depression. Think of the world without a single light. It is freezing cold and I am lacking the essentials of life. A terrorist attack to the heart as anger explodes from within bringing me down. The next place they strike is my unprotected mind. They strap millions of bombs to every brain cell and blast my security away. I am left freaking out wondering what could possibly happen next. On every piece of debris that scatter are lies attached with a bond greater than gorilla glue. My mind is now a heaping mess of doubt and the sad thing is no one is around to hear my shout for help. My SOS goes unanswered. So I thought. This is not a physical attack but one that is spiritual. These warriors take me in chains but I laugh at them because the God I live for will conquer this internal battle that kills me day after day. He breaks the chains and restores my heart and mind. His light penetrates the darkness surrounding me with his love. He puts me up on a high rock. No one can touch me in his place of safety. He defeats all my enemies who tried to destroy me. Little did they know that I stand with confidence in my God because I know he always wins. WORD!

Romans 10:9-10
⁹ If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. 

Tear Stained Face

Psalm 56:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁸ You keep track of all my sorrows.^[a]
      You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
      You have recorded each one in your book.

I don't know if it is just me but I find it hard to cry. I get all sad at times but it takes a lot to make me cry. It takes a lot of holding everything in to make me cry. I feel I have to hide everything in. I feel like I have to hide it. I want the tears to come but they never answer my call. I try my best to smile and be joyful and you know 99.9% of the time that joy is a genuine joy. Most of the time my smiles are real. Jesus knows better though. He sees that deep deep deep deep deep down under there is all this junk that I hold. He sees the things I have been trying to ignore. He sees all the things I have been trying to hide. He sees all of that and he speaks. You don't have to hold onto all of that anymore. I care for you let me take them from you. Let me take all that from you. You don't need to pretend anymore. You don't need to battle with that anymore. Let me take it from you.

Last night I cried. This morning I cried. It was in the middle of tearing and balling. I cried from piti to yigo. It usually takes a lot to make me cry. I know when I am filled with the holy spirit because the tears come so easily. I pleaded with God and came to him full of repentance. Each day he brings revelation. He allowed every sin every bit of pain bitterness hatred jealousy and anger to exit on my tears. When I was done I pictured him catching every tear. Then I heard him say that's enough wipe your tears. I have heard your prayers. When I got out of my car I experienced an overwhelming peace and lightness.

It is okay to cry. I don't need to hold on when the very thing God is telling me to is let go. He is in control. He is in control. He is in control and he catches everyone of my tears. He washes my tear stained face and trades me sorrows for his joy.

A Beautiful Coat

1 Thessalonians 4:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁷ God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives.

Colossians 3:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.

Colossians 3:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

⁸ But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.

re·pent·ance

 [ri-pen-tns, -pen-tuhns] Show IPA

noun

1.

deep sorrow, compunction, or contrition for a past sin, wrongdoing, or the like.

2.

regret for any past action.

 

"You hold my every moment. You calm my raging seas. You walk with me through fire and heal all my disease. I trust in you. I trust in you. I believe you're my healer. I believe you are all I need. I believe you're my portion. I believe you're more than enough for me. Jesus you're all I need.Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You. Nothing is impossible for You. You hold my world in Your hands."  -Healer by Kari Jobe 

 

I'm sorry for not posting as much as I used to. I felt like I ran out of ideas. I didn't know what to write anymore. So today I just kept praying for revelation from God and I feel that he has blessed me with it. 

 

Repentance. I believe that God has been speaking to me using different people. He used the same words. I feel like he used two different people in two different situations to say the same thing. Repentance is not about saying sorry. It is about really coming to God and regretting what you did. 

 

I know I stated this in another blog but I'll just repeat myself so I can make a point. I got baptized when I was 11 years old. I didn't know a lot about being baptized I just knew that after I was baptized I would be allowed to participate in communion. I had times in my life where I thought I had to get baptized again because I felt that the sin I committed was to great to be forgiven. I thought that being re-baptized was the only way to go. I eventually learned that once I was baptized I would never need to get baptized again. Once I was baptized I was forgiven for my sins of yesterday today and tomorrow. All I needed to do was repent and God would forgive me. 

 

Here is where it gets tricky. In my life I feel like I have done some things that would be considered really bad. When those things happened it was easy to go to God full of repentance because I felt the weight of the sin I committed. When I committed things I considered minor I would just ask God to forgive me. I would not feel an ounce of guilt. This is when I must remember that in God's eyes sin is SIN. Any type of sin still breaks his heart. Any type of sin still angers him. So every time I mess up I must go to him full of repentance. I must plead for his forgiveness and know that I have received it. 

 

I must go to His throne and take off the heavy coat of filth. I should sit at His feet and surrender all my junk to Him so that He may take it away from me. He will pour out His cleansing rain and wash me white as snow. I must come to Him so that He can give me the coat He has called me to wear. One beautiful with all of the characteristics of His Holy Spirit and share it with anyone who might be going through the same situation. 

 

 

Big Colorful Blurry Blob

Psalm 25:4-5 Show me Your ways, O Lord; teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me: for You are the God of my salvation; on You do I wait all day.

Yesterday I Rhia Nichole Ogle could not find my glasses. One might say it was because I am irresponsible in nature. I kept praying and praying that God would help me find them. I went thorough out the day blind. So yeah no luck. I believe God was giving me a wait. He gives me a wait from time to time to teach me something.

Yesterday I realized that though everything was a big colorful blur my heart could still sing praises to God. Why? I could still see. I noticed that a lot of things are extremely beautiful when you have a hard time seeing them. I had the opportunity to appreciate things from a different point of view. I also praised God because he gave me another gift. I had a hard time seeing but this allowed me to trust God all the more. I praised him because he did not allow me to walk into anything or stumble. He was there protecting me. He was there guiding my steps.

When I got home I knew I had a lot of homework to do. I just put my trust in God again. I could do my homework without my glasses but it would make things easier if I could see clearly. As I was looking for my highlighter I saw my black frames on my bed. I do have to say that I looked EVERYWHERE. I must have looked around my bed many times. I believe God placed them there when his purpose was met. I will continue to wait on the Lord.

Spinning out of Control

Psalm 62:6-8

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁶ He alone is my rock and my salvation,
      my fortress where I will not be shaken.
 ⁷ My victory and honor come from God alone.
      He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
 ⁸ O my people, trust in him at all times.
      Pour out your heart to him,
      for God is our refuge.

Yesterday I was on my way to praise team practice. While on the road we saw that this "guy" (It could have been a lady) got into a car accident. I've been in a couple myself. My question is could it be possible to see the blessings in a car accident? I say that it is very possible. The driver probably lost control of his vehicle and landed himself in the jungle. Okay so here are the blessings. First of all I said landed himself in the jungle. His car was in grass. See this dude could have hit a railing or a telephone pole but God's favor was upon him. The second blessing was right as this guy was spinning out of control a bus was passing or maybe cars were passing. Whatever the situation I know God placed people there to assist the people in the car.

Okay I know my fellow readers are probably like okay that is pretty cool. Now what is your point? I always have a point to everything I speak about. I believe that at times I can be this driver. I want to take control of my own life. So I get behind the wheel and start driving. I think I know the perfect speed to travel. I think I know the right places to stop at. Eventually I go too fast and I start to spin out of control. Yet because of God's great love for me he provides a safe landing for me. He provides me with people to surround and assist me.

I Rhia Jimenez do not know what is best for me. I cannot possibly grasp any of that. I do know that God does. He knows yesterday, he knows today, and he knows tomorrow. He was is and will always be in control. Landing in the jungle is a message from God. He is telling me here Rhia this is your second chance. Restart. Let me take the wheel and trust where I take you.

Psalm 57:7-11

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁷ My heart is confident in you, O God;
      my heart is confident.
      No wonder I can sing your praises!
 ⁸ Wake up, my heart!
      Wake up, O lyre and harp!
      I will wake the dawn with my song.
 ⁹ I will thank you, Lord, among all the people.
      I will sing your praises among the nations.
 ¹⁰ For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens.
      Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.
 ¹¹ Be exalted, O God, above the highest heavens.
      May your glory shine over all the earth.

Bigot

 ¹ Have mercy on me, O God,
      because of your unfailing love.
   Because of your great compassion,
      blot out the stain of my sins.
 ² Wash me clean from my guilt.
      Purify me from my sin.
Psalm 51:1-2

“Bigot”

Lord Jesus a bigot is connoted with negativity. Right now it will hold a positive tone. I will not waver. I refuse to turn to a talisman supposedly teeming with magic. I will not depend on magic for help. Yes Lord a talisman would only offer an ephemeral joy. I would never grasp tangible happiness. The bliss gained from talismans is defined as counterfeit. Yet you Lord offer the real deal. Lord I am surrounded! This heavy darkness weighs in. Lord I am attacked on all sides with arrows. Lord they shoot anxiety, depression, and exhaustion into my mind. These weapons penetrate my body. As my blood pours out every drop screams insanity. I cannot take it anymore. Lord I surrender these noxious thoughts to you. Lord I lay them at your feet. Please remove them from existence. I abhor this constant battle and I am so close to giving up. These encounters hamper my ability to attain true exuberance. Lord remunerate me by answering my cry for help. Kindle my darkest days. Enfranchise me from the prison of hardship. Please bless me with a placid state of mind.  

Where are you?

Psalm 50:14-15

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹⁴ Make thankfulness your sacrifice to God,
      and keep the vows you made to the Most High.
 ¹⁵ Then call on me when you are in trouble,
      and I will rescue you,
      and you will give me glory.”

"I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about you Jesus. I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it when it's all about you Jesus." -Heart of Worship Hillsong

During lunch I was talking to my friend. She was talking about how she just gave and gave and gave to this guy. She would talk to him. She would listen to him. She loved him. He messed up so she gave him a second chance and he took that second chance and just messed up again.

Have you ever felt that what someone was saying was meant for only you to hear. It was like a message from God to me. My eyes were opened to what he was trying to say to me. He was like saying I talk to you. When you pray I listen to you. I love you. When you messed up I give you a second chance. Where are you?

Like have you ever felt rejected? Have you ever felt like you could give your all to someone and they just didn't give you the same? Imagine how heart broken God feels when we don't spend enough time with him.
I hope to make things better as time passes. I thank God for this revelation.

Reasons to be thankful:
1) God blessed me with strength all day today. Strength and energy.
2) My friends blessed me with laughter support and encouraging words.
3) I had food to eat. :)
4) Even if I had to run from c-wing to b-wing and then to the very first bus at least I didn't have to run from c-wing to b-wing and then all the way up to f-wing or something like that.
5) God blessed me my allowing me to make the bus and find a seat.
7) My friend sent me an inspirational bible verse.
8) I enjoyed Spanish.
9) I had the opportunity to go to Prayer tonight. Praise God.
10) I finished my homework.

Thank you Jesus. :)

Reasons to Praise God List

Psalm 42:5-8

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁵ Why am I discouraged?
      Why is my heart so sad?
   I will put my hope in God!
      I will praise him again—
      my Savior and ⁶ my God!
   Now I am deeply discouraged,
      but I will remember you—
   even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan,
      from the land of Mount Mizar.
 ⁷ I hear the tumult of the raging seas
      as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.
 ⁸ But each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me,
      and through each night I sing his songs,
      praying to God who gives me life.


My heart is as frail as a dove
And my spirit is as weak as a rose
See my sorrow, feel my pain
You're my refuge, You're my reason,
My strength in this beautiful place
That's where I find God

[Chorus:]
You're in my heart, You're in my soul
You are my heaven, You're my home
You're my best friend, You're my true love
You are my treasure, You're my God

I watch as the mountains fall down
And the rivers part at Your feet
Your creation sings Your praise
Even winds obey and angels bow down
At Your beautiful voice
That's where I find God

[Repeat Chorus]

You're in my heart, You're in my soul
You are my heaven, You're my home
You're my best friend, You're my true love
You are my treasure, You're my hope
You are my peace, You are my joy
You are my Savior, You're my God
-You by The Afters

As I continue to read the book of Psalms I begin to see this pattern. King David talks about how much he is suffering yet while he suffers he still praises God. As he suffers he is not afraid to be real with God and tell him what is up. He is constantly pouring out everything to God telling him all of the details of what he is experiencing. Though the pain is sometimes excruciating and the battles discussed are often gory he continues to speak about God's mercy and unfailing love. He still sings praises.

Today was a hard day. I was extremely exhausted. If you see me now you will possibly notice that I have huge bags under my eyes. I just felt so out of whack today. It was hard for me to focus on anything. I kept zoning out. I felt disconnected and depressed. I could not pin point it.

I just posted a blog that spoke about how wonderful yesterday was. I also stated that I would give thanks to God even when the days are downers. It is EASIER said than done. I did try though. I found ways to be thankful. At one point I sat silently and repeated thank you Jesus thank you Jesus thank you Jesus. I said it over and over until I felt better. I was granted with peace.

Here are things that I can be thankful for. Here are reasons I will praise God.
1) I am still a student at GW.
2) I got to see smiling faces.
3) My friends encouraged me today and entertained my want for attention. ( I love you guys, you know who you are.)
4) I survived the day without falling asleep in class.
5) I laughed.
6) God will make all things possible for myself.
7) I got to spend time with my sister on her birthday.
8) She had another birthday and I had the opportunity to sing her happy birthday.
9) I was able to take pictures of her before my camera stopped functioning.
10) I met a new friend.
11) God provided me with joy.
12) He has blessed me with ( I lost my thought I'm so tired) well he blesses me with tons of things. :)

I think I'm going to list things daily to be thankful list. I will call it the Reasons to praise God list. I don't know. As I was typing everything that God blessed me with today I realized that it wasn't as bad as I felt it was.

Dear Lord God,
                         Please help me to follow King David's example. Please help me to praise you in every single circumstance. Thank you for opening my eyes to all the good things you have done for me. Please don't let all the negative events blind me from seeing your goodness. Thank you so much. Praise God hallelujah. I love you. I love you. I love you Lord. In Jesus name I pray Amen

Praise The Lord Anyway

Day 8 8/22/2011

Psalm 30:11-12

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹¹ You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
      You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
 ¹² that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
      O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

I'm in over my head
Right where I wanna be
I'm so lost within Your love
The love that always covers me
So high, so deep, so wide
A strong and cleansing tide
My soul has found a place to rest
I'm in over my head

I've been holding on
Now I'm letting go, just letting go
Gonna let Your love carry me away
I don't know where I'm going
But I'm surrounded by the truth
And I can feel the current pulling me
Deeper into You
Over my Head-Brian Littrel

hap·pi·ness

 [hap-ee-nis] Show IPA

noun

1.

the quality or state of being happy.

2.

good fortune; pleasure; contentment; joy.

Origin:
1520–30; happy  + -ness

Related forms

o·ver·hap·pi·ness, noun

Synonyms
1, 2.  pleasure, joy, exhilaration, bliss, contentedness, delight, enjoyment, satisfaction. Happiness, bliss, contentment, felicity  imply an active or passive state of pleasure or pleasurable satisfaction. Happiness  results from the possession or attainment of what one considers good: the happiness of visiting one's family. Bliss  is unalloyed happiness or supreme delight: the bliss of perfect companionship. Contentment  is a peaceful kind of happiness in which one rests without desires, even though every wish may not have been gratified: contentment in one's surroundings. Felicity  is a formal word for happiness of an especially fortunate or intense kind: to wish a young couple felicity in life.

 

Today was absolutely blissful! The day went by so beautifully. I praise God for all that he has done for me today. This is how it started out. I woke up at 4:30 and I prayed and did my devotional. Then when I was done with that I got ready for school. My mom was up early making my sisters and me lunch. I was ready to leave my house around six so I thanked my mom and was about to leave but she said no let's pray first. So I said okay. I thank God for that prayer. I thank God for answering my mom's prayer. It's AMAZING what a few words of encouragement can do for a person's whole day. (So from here on out I will try to find people I can encourage so that they might experience a day filled with endless blessings and delight.)

 

So I left my house incredibly joyous and again I thank God for making it last. Even now as I have a headache I am going to praise God because he has the power to take away my pain. My dad also gave me money to buy water. Hallelujah!! Okay so I finally get on the bus and I am somewhat tired so I'm zoning out like real bad. I'm just letting my mind relax before I get to school. I'm nervous of what will happen and all the plans I have made but I continue to have a positive outlook. When doubts come up I just look down at my bracelet and allow the words to flow in my mind. WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. (Mark 10:27 btw thanks Ali for the bracelet it is one of the bestest gifts I have ever received.) I won't let anything get me down. When I look up God just proves to me that he has me. Out of the window I see a huge gray cloud and in the middle of it there is a hole of light shining through. I felt God was saying Rhia don't worry when darkness surrounds you I have the power to pierce it with my light. So yes that made me smile. When we got off the bus I had another reason to smile. There were two rainbows and they were beautiful another one of God's symbols for his promise never to flood the earth again. (Refer to Noah's Ark)

 

Things just fell into place from there. Chris helped me find my home base and I found out that a lot of my friends were with me in that class. I received my schedule and found out that not only did I have great classes I also had amazing teachers.  (I mean so I don't have Ms.Angeles for math I think I will be okay. I hope she is liking southern. I don't know how GW will do without her.) I also enjoyed seeing all the people I haven't seen in three months. I was all smiles and enthusiastic each time I saw a familiar face. 

 

So yes everything is falling into place nicely. I was very inspired today. I know there will be a lot and I mean A LOT of things that will need to be done this year. I know that it will get hard. I know that I will have to make choices that will determine where I will be in the future. For as many times as I thanked God I also asked for his will to be done. So I am going to fully trust in him. I know he knows what is best for me. He will get me through whatever life will throw at me. 

 

Another thing I have to keep in mind is that I must be grateful for everything that happens. I must search for a reason to be thankful when things are not looking up and I want to quit. I must always sing praises to God because he will never give me anything I can't handle and everything I go through serves a purpose. 

 

Psalm 37:7

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁷ Be still in the presence of the Lord,
      and wait patiently for him to act.
   Don’t worry about evil people who prosper
      or fret about their wicked schemes.

 

Joy in the best form

 Day 7 8/21/2011

 Psalm 30:1

New Living Translation (NLT)

Psalm 30

A psalm of David. A song for the dedication of the Temple.

 ¹ I will exalt you, Lord, for you rescued me.
      You refused to let my enemies triumph over me.

Psalm 30:5

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment,
      but his favor lasts a lifetime!
   Weeping may last through the night,
      but joy comes with the morning.

Psalm 30:11-12

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹¹ You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
      You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,
 ¹² that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.
      O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Blessed by Your name- Newsboys


When I read anything I tend to play a movie in my head. I try to picture what is going on. I love to dive into a good book and escape my surroundings. On the way to church I read Psalm 30:1. I was hit with the words so I read them over and over again. I pictured the Lord holding my enemies back so they wouldn't harm me. Now I picture myself bowing to praise him as he does this. It's just a reminder that no matter what happens in my life I will be able to survive. The Lord will continue to rescue me from my enemies. He will not let them triumph over me.


During worship we sang the song blessed be Your name. It is such a beautiful song.The song speaks about praising God through everything even when it gets tough. There is one point where we start singing YOU GIVE AND TAKE AWAY my heart will choose to say Lord blessed be your name. I then thought that when things are hard and when I feel like I'm crazy because I'm so sad I must praise God anyway. He calls me to give him all my trials and give him all my sadness so that he may takeaway the load from my shoulders and give me strength and peace to get through each day. Though I fight battles all the time God will never let my enemies triumph over me.

Yes when all else is going south God will give me a reason to dance with joy and sing praises to his name. He will take off the cloak of darkness and clothe me with his satisfying joy.

Something to smile about

This is day 6 8/20/2011

I was feeling down and out today. I was mad and felt like giving up for a while. God saw my distress and sent me little things to make me smile. One of those things was a bible verse. I should have read my bible before I did anything this would have helped me. I do believe that the timing was right when I read my bible though. I believe that if I read it this morning I would just skim through everything and not really relate. The bible verse the entire chapter of Psalm 27 hit home. Here are some of the verses that just stood out. I can't exactly explain why. I asked God to reveal something to me and these verses seemed to be standing on a pedestal.

 ¹ The Lord is my light and my salvation—
      so why should I be afraid?
   The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
      so why should I tremble?

 ⁴ The one thing I ask of the Lord—
      the thing I seek most—
   is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
      delighting in the Lord’s perfections
      and meditating in his Temple.
 ⁵ For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
      he will hide me in his sanctuary.
      He will place me out of reach on a high rock.



⁶ Then I will hold my head high
      above my enemies who surround me.

⁷ Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
      Be merciful and answer me!
 ⁸ My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
      And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”

 ¹⁰ Even if my father and mother abandon me,
      the Lord will hold me close.
 ¹¹ Teach me how to live, O Lord.
      Lead me along the right path,
      for my enemies are waiting for me.
 ¹² Do not let me fall into their hands.
      For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
      with every breath they threaten me with violence.
 ¹³ Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
      while I am here in the land of the living.
 ¹⁴ Wait patiently for the Lord.
      Be brave and courageous.
      Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

These verses encouraged me to keep going on. God also blessed me with the opportunity to spend time with my niece who brought so much joy to my heart. I loved holding her and singing to her and playing with her. Oh my gosh when she started to smile and laugh that was the best. Then God continued to show that he was there for me when I spent time with my friends. They brought a lot of happiness into my day or rather night. We enjoyed each others company as we played games, danced in the rain, and laid out on the grass to watch the stars. It was a beautiful night. I believe this was God saying that no matter how hard the day is there is always something to be grateful for. No matter the degree of the trial there is always something to live and fight for. I thank God for all that he gave to me. I thank him for giving me strength to keep moving forward. I love you love you love you JESUS!

Proverbs 15:13 - "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." (NIV)

Well

John 4

Jesus and the Samaritan Woman

1  Jesust knew the Pharisees had heard that he was baptizing and making more disciples than John 2 (though Jesus himself didn’t baptize them—his disciples did). 3 So he left Judea and returned to Galilee.
4 He had to go through Samaria on the way. 5 Eventually he came to the Samaritan village of Sychar, near the field that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. 6 Jacob’s well was there; and Jesus, tired from the long walk, sat wearily beside the well about noontime. 7 Soon a Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus said to her, “Please give me a drink.” 8 He was alone at the time because his disciples had gone into the village to buy some food.
9 The woman was surprised, for Jews refuse to have anything to do with Samaritans.t She said to Jesus, “You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?”
10 Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”
11 “But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water? 12 And besides, do you think you’re greater than our ancestor Jacob, who gave us this well? How can you offer better water than he and his sons and his animals enjoyed?”
13 Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. 14 But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”
15 “Please, sir,” the woman said, “give me this water! Then I’ll never be thirsty again, and I won’t have to come here to get water.”
16 “Go and get your husband,” Jesus told her.
17 “I don’t have a husband,” the woman replied.
Jesus said, “You’re right! You don’t have a husband—18 for you have had five husbands, and you aren’t even married to the man you’re living with now. You certainly spoke the truth!”
19 “Sir,” the woman said, “you must be a prophet. 20 So tell me, why is it that you Jews insist that Jerusalem is the only place of worship, while we Samaritans claim it is here at Mount Gerizim,t where our ancestors worshiped?”
21 Jesus replied, “Believe me, dear woman, the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship the Father on this mountain or in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans know very little about the one you worship, while we Jews know all about him, for salvation comes through the Jews. 23 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth. The Father is looking for those who will worship him that way. 24 For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.”
25 The woman said, “I know the Messiah is coming—the one who is called Christ. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”
26 Then Jesus told her, “I AM the Messiah!”t
27 Just then his disciples came back. They were shocked to find him talking to a woman, but none of them had the nerve to ask, “What do you want with her?” or “Why are you talking to her?” 28 The woman left her water jar beside the well and ran back to the village, telling everyone, 29 “Come and see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?” 30 So the people came streaming from the village to see him.

"Higher than the mountains that i face
Stronger than the power of the grave
constant in the trial and the change

One thing remains

Your love never fails
It never gives up
It never runs out on me

Because on and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelmes and satisfies my soul
And i'll never, ever, have to be afraid

One thing remains

In death
In life
I'm confident and covered by the Power of Your great love

My dept is paid
Theres nothing that can separate
My heart from Your great love"

One Thing Remains -Jesus Culture
 
I know it is a lot to read but it is an amazing story.  I am imagining myself as the woman at the well. I have been seeking the wrong things to satisfy my thirst and it is pointless. I go to the well alone at the hottest part of the day because I am ashamed of myself. I don't want to feel people's stares or hear their judgmental whispers. Everyone knows what I have done. Yeah I'm the outcast. I do not believe I can be loved because of all that I have done. I have this emptiness and I keep trying to fill myself but the more I try the emptier I'm left. I am about to give up. I don't want to look anymore. So I go to the well alone at the hottest part of the day. It is dangerous but I'll do this anyway. I am thirsty. 

Jesus knows all of this. He sees all that I have done. He knows that I am thirsty for something that will satisfy this overbearing dryness in my life. So he sits at the well and waits for me to come along so that I may be truly satisfied. He sits there and waits because he loves me so much that he wants to offer me the best. He confronts me and lets me know that he knows. He knows it all yet he still wants to offer me this living water. I am uncomfortable because this stranger just revealed something very personal so I try to change the subject with a religious question which he provides an answer to. Then I say well we will all know these things when the Messiah comes. He takes this moment to take my face into his hands look straight into my eyes with a gaze that holds so much grace mercy and love and replies I am He. 

I am so excited that I drop my bucket and run back home to tell everyone what just happens. 


I feel like this Samaritan woman. I am thirsty so thirsty for something that will satisfy. I am as dry as a desert. So I run to many things to fulfill that thirst. The only problem is that I run to wells that are filled with impure water. I place my bucket into the water bring it up but it is empty because there are holes in the bucket. So I am left thirsty. Yet I keep running back to these things to gain satisfaction. 


I go alone because I don't want people to judge me for the things I have done. I go alone and Jesus sits at the well and waits for me. He says Rhia why must you keep coming here? Why don't you go to the source of the living water? I will truly satisfy your thirst. You will never be thirsty again. I see what you have done but I still love you. Here take a sip of this and taste the greatness I have to offer you. You will never want to turn back again. 


My mind is haunted with thoughts. A lot of times I am tempted to do wrong. I know I should be focusing on God but sometimes I just want to talk to that one person. To satisfy my thirst for love. Yet time and time I am left out of whack. I am left sad because I am disappointed. I feel like I am a reef blocking that person from feeling a tsunami of love. I just don't want to be that. God replies you don't need to hide from me just be real. I will help you through this. I love you. Don't settle for this when I offer you way more than the best. Wait on my perfect timing and you will truly be blessed. 


Today I was praying that my life felt like a desert. I asked God to drench me in his holy spirit. He heard my cry and blessed me with a message that really related to everything I have been going through. Tonight I walked to the store and when I was on my way home it started to pour. I felt like God was saying here is the rain. :) I am enough for you. 


"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time--God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen."
1 Timothy 6:12-16