ehh

I would like to apprise you that I can no longer wait for you. The pain of loosing you feels like the sore, aching, stinging, and throbbing pain that one might feel after getting her teeth yanked out without any form of numbing medication. I will become an annoying caterwaul for the next couple of days submerging myself in my tears and hoping that they will wash all the hurt away. Talking to you implies that I have condescended from my virtues. It's funny what love can do to a person.  I will not cozen you. I will tell you the truth, I don't want to talk to you anymore. I should have listened to the inner voice that told me to ignore you. Maybe then I wouldn't be stuck in this morass which acts like a rope cutting into the flesh. I feel like I can't escape the bondage. The more I struggle the deeper the rope digs into my skin. I am stuck and I actually like it here. I have become comfortable with my faults and I don't want to leave because deep down inside I don't ever want to leave you. Every time I try to run away I am drawn back to you like a mouse to the cheese on a mouse trap. Yet staying here causes so much melee in my life. I feel like I walk through every dark day with no purpose and it deepens my depression.My hope is as miniscule as a mustard seed and I don't know when I will become that sanguine girl again.