Random but Lovely

Psalm 62

For Jeduthun, the choir director: A psalm of David.

 ¹ I wait quietly before God,
      for my victory comes from him.
 ² He alone is my rock and my salvation,
      my fortress where I will never be shaken

I am starting to shift from stuck to getting back where I used to be. God has answered my prayers. I know he is taking that burnt out candle and setting it ablaze again. I am slowly but surely becoming once again on fire for God. He has blessed me with so much revelation and I praise him for it.

So far this week I have realized that he is here. He is always here with me. He never never never leaves my side. Even when I am screaming for help and I find that he is silent he is still there. He listens because he loves me.

I have learned that the more I seek him the more I find him and delight in his presence. I learned that making time for him in the morning sets me up for a pretty good day.

I have messed up this week but he has helped me bounce back again.

I know he is doing something deep within me. He is setting me free from certain bondage. He is breaking all the chains. He is changing things for my benefit. All I had to do was surrender.

When I have felt down he has sent me people to cheer me up. Just earlier I was feeling discouraged until I read my friends blog. He described me as a guardian angel. As I read what he wrote I started to cry. ( And I DO not cry easily) I don't view myself that way and hardly realize the effect I have on people. His statement really humbled me and brought a huge smile to my face.

I have this lanyard that my best friend Arielle gave to me. It used to have a lot of sentimental junk on it and pins covered all the I love Jesus'. I was convicted one day to take all of that stuff off so I did. There was a purpose in doing that. Since now there is only my bottle on the lanyard people have been stopping to ask me why on earth do I carry a bottle around my neck. So I have had many opportunities to explain to them what my symbol means.

This is how it usually goes. This is not trash. This is a symbol. I attended a one week camp this summer. The theme of camp was H2O hence the water bottle. So when you come to God and accept his son as your Lord and Savior you become a new person. You empty out your old self and come to God each day so that he can fill you with the living water which is the Holy Spirit. Also our names are crossed off and Jesus name is written because when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior God no longer sees us and all of our junk but he sees his son who is pure.

Today I don't know what I was doing. I don't even know how I ended up in front of my friend. Anyway he said I already know that I am going to hell. I was shocked. I said no no no you are not! What surprised me was that on the way to school I just read Romans 10 and that chapter was all about salvation. So after I explained to him what my bottle meant I talked to him about salvation. I told him that if he believed in Jesus that all his sins from yesterday today and tomorrow are forgiven. I told him that God was a God of first second third a multitude of chances. Then I read him Romans 10. I hoped that helped.

Before I went all preacher on my friend I went to find a rock okay two rocks. In the bus before I read my bible I read this devotional about God being my rock. It instructed me to put a rock in my pocket as a reminder. So I went on a search for a rock. After I picked up both rocks I stood up and saw the looks on these people's faces. Their looks pretty much said dude this girl is a freak! I just stood there and boldly explained to them the reason I picked up the rocks. I don't know what came over me. Usually I'm afraid of being judged but at that moment I didn't care.

Call me a freak. I am one. A JESUS freak! I live for him and no ones smirks snide comments or laughter will stop me from living for him. I love him. In the end their judgement won't put a dent into anything. Their words will die away with them. The only thing that will matter is how God will judge me. What would he say if I was too scared to stand for him?

I'm glad that God is working in my life. I know that every single up and down has a purpose. I will trust him. WORD.

Oh here I'll share this poem I wrote when I was feeling really out of it earlier today. Hope you enjoy.

I sit down in a chair and I am over come with a feeling of depression. Think of the world without a single light. It is freezing cold and I am lacking the essentials of life. A terrorist attack to the heart as anger explodes from within bringing me down. The next place they strike is my unprotected mind. They strap millions of bombs to every brain cell and blast my security away. I am left freaking out wondering what could possibly happen next. On every piece of debris that scatter are lies attached with a bond greater than gorilla glue. My mind is now a heaping mess of doubt and the sad thing is no one is around to hear my shout for help. My SOS goes unanswered. So I thought. This is not a physical attack but one that is spiritual. These warriors take me in chains but I laugh at them because the God I live for will conquer this internal battle that kills me day after day. He breaks the chains and restores my heart and mind. His light penetrates the darkness surrounding me with his love. He puts me up on a high rock. No one can touch me in his place of safety. He defeats all my enemies who tried to destroy me. Little did they know that I stand with confidence in my God because I know he always wins. WORD!

Romans 10:9-10
⁹ If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. ¹⁰ For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.