Tear Stained Face

Psalm 56:8

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ⁸ You keep track of all my sorrows.^[a]
      You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
      You have recorded each one in your book.

I don't know if it is just me but I find it hard to cry. I get all sad at times but it takes a lot to make me cry. It takes a lot of holding everything in to make me cry. I feel I have to hide everything in. I feel like I have to hide it. I want the tears to come but they never answer my call. I try my best to smile and be joyful and you know 99.9% of the time that joy is a genuine joy. Most of the time my smiles are real. Jesus knows better though. He sees that deep deep deep deep deep down under there is all this junk that I hold. He sees the things I have been trying to ignore. He sees all the things I have been trying to hide. He sees all of that and he speaks. You don't have to hold onto all of that anymore. I care for you let me take them from you. Let me take all that from you. You don't need to pretend anymore. You don't need to battle with that anymore. Let me take it from you.

Last night I cried. This morning I cried. It was in the middle of tearing and balling. I cried from piti to yigo. It usually takes a lot to make me cry. I know when I am filled with the holy spirit because the tears come so easily. I pleaded with God and came to him full of repentance. Each day he brings revelation. He allowed every sin every bit of pain bitterness hatred jealousy and anger to exit on my tears. When I was done I pictured him catching every tear. Then I heard him say that's enough wipe your tears. I have heard your prayers. When I got out of my car I experienced an overwhelming peace and lightness.

It is okay to cry. I don't need to hold on when the very thing God is telling me to is let go. He is in control. He is in control. He is in control and he catches everyone of my tears. He washes my tear stained face and trades me sorrows for his joy.