Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
Love outstanding overflows
In our hearts it ever grows
Send to live and breathe through us
flow like waters comes your love
flow like waters comes your love
Love like rain fall down
Love like arms surround
Hold the universe ablaze
Hold my heart in your embrace
Loving Father pure and bright
Wait arms open for the sight
of the wayword time come home
Celebration waits alone
And at first glimpse the Father runs
dripping tears fall on the Sun
from His knees the Father lives
to embrace and kiss His face
to embrace and kiss His face
Love like rain fall down
Love like arms surround
Hold the universe ablaze
Hold my heart in your embrace
Love Like Rain by Daniel Doss Band
Tired. I have been tired. Tired of everything. Weary because unhappiness weighs so heavily on my chest I cannot breathe in peace. I have not been satisfied. Something deep deep deep within me is disturbed and it is my fault. The good thing about this is that Jesus has called me saying that I don't have to carry this any longer that if I just give it up I can rest.
I made this one year commitment to God that I would pursue him and only him, it went well for the first couple of months. Okay it went well for the summer and then summer ended and I was back to the place I started. Trying to get back on my feet. It would be okay for a little bit and then I would fail again and again and again.
The worst part of this is that by giving into temptation and chasing after a guy instead of God I slowly felt this disconnect. I feel lost and confused most of the time. And I also feel hopeless. Maybe there is more to this then just talking to a guy. It's not just talking to a guy. It's making him the center of everything. See relationships aren't bad. People are made to be in relationships, it only get's bad when your focus in unbalanced and you leave Jesus in the back seat. I've done this for too long and I am starting to feel the effects of it. It isn't good.
I sit on my floor and I pray for revelation. He blesses me all the time and everything he leads me to tells me to lay this "addiction" down. Every bible verse every video every conversation leads me to what he's been calling me to do. I am willing but I am scared of what will happen if I let go. It can't be bad. If God calls me to something only blessings can wait at the end because he knows what is best for me. It's going to be hard, it's going to be painful, and at times I'll want to give up, but I can trust that the joy of the Lord will be my strength.
I have been like the paralyzed man at the pool. Every time Jesus asked me if I wanted to be healed I replied with an excuse. No more excuses just re-dedication and trust. With God all things are possible.
He is the God of my salvation; in him I trust and am not afraid, Yahweh is my strength: him I will praise, the one who saved me. (Isaiah12:2)
